Pocket Litter

Hello? Hellooo? Is this thing on?

2011-05-26T16:41:00.009-04:00

So, it's been something like 2 years since I last posted. To tell you the truth, I wasn't even sure I knew what my url was anymore, but since EVERY ONE of my siblings has managed to post this week, I thought I would jump on board and test the waters a bit with this wee little picture. It's not much - I'm a little rusty -but this little imp just makes me all mushy inside and I wanted to share.

Happy Thursday!

You wanna piece of me?

2009-08-06T22:11:00.006-04:00

This morning, on our way out the door, Derek and I were accosted in the stairwell by a mini lobster*. No joke. We walked down the stairs and at the bottom was this crustacean incarnation of Tony Micelli standing there ready to take us on. Tough guy was all, "ay-oh, oh-ay," swinging his pincers around and gettin' up in our bidness. We told him to simmer down, we don't pick fights with pint-sized crustaceans, but we did need to go to work. He grudgingly let us pass, though I swear I heard him call Derek a pantywaist as we walked by. Sheesh.

*My coworkers thought it was more likely that he was a crawfish. Could be, or maybe just a mini lobster.

Colonial in a can

2009-04-01T20:38:00.007-04:00

Somedays going to work is so worthwhile. You just never know what you may run into.

What is it, you ask?

Trash, of course. It's written right there.

Now if only I had dared take picture of the sharpshooter I shared the elevator with the other day.

Random Bits of Nothingness

2009-03-15T21:57:00.007-04:00

#1) Thanks to a random turn of events, Derek and I spent a magical evening at Stars on Ice. That's right, Stars. On. Ice. I was little disappointed there wasn't a giant skating teapot or candlestick, but you take what you can get.

#2) I don't know how many of you know this, but Derek is married to a True Aggie. One not-so-magical "A Day" night many years ago, I stood on a cement "A" with about a 1,000 other couples and kissed a boy. I think it's appropriate to share this tonight becasue our Aggies are in the big dance! Stu Morril has done it again, and tonight Derek is proud to be a True Aggie by proxy. Go Aggies!

#3)

C'mon, it's funny.

To Better Days

2009-03-01T21:43:00.005-05:00

The weather man tells us that we're supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow tonight. Back home that would mean an early morning full of faceshots and fresh tracks. Here in D.C. it means nothing. Winter here is worthless. You get all the cold with none of the benefits.

While hunkered down staying out of the cold, I pieced together some footage from our last trip to the desert. Check it out in the sidebar or click here.

Inauguration in Obama-nation

2009-02-01T21:07:00.004-05:00

We really didn't intend to go anywhere near the Mall on Inauguration Day, but sometimes old friends call you the day before with tickets they can't use and, well, plans change. Before you know it you are wearing three coats and standing in the middle of 1.8 million people.

And just in case you were wondering, it was totally and completely NUTS. Definitely worth it. Thanks Chris and Amy!

Cheesesteak and Marriage

2009-01-11T23:10:00.005-05:00

Derek and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary yesterday. That’s right, the big zero five.

(Who's bright idea was it to get married in January? I'm not crying, I'm freezing.)

Now, once upon a time, back in the middle ages, some thoughtful guy took it upon himself to come up with an anniversary gift guide to help all the clueless husbands choose just the right gift to give their wives in celebration of yet another year the couple survived one another, child bearing, and the plague. On the first anniversary he suggested the gift of paper; on the second, cotton; the third, leather; and the fourth, fruit. I know, you’re thinking these are pretty lame gifts, but it was the dark/middle age; these people squabbled every meal over who got to use the family toothpick. But imagine my surprise when I found out that on your fifth anniversary you are supposed to give the gift of cheesesteak! Never one to argue with tradition, Derek and I got up Saturday morning and headed off to Philadelphia, the home of the cheesesteak, to celebrate our fifth in a way that would make the feudal lords and peasants proud.

Here’s to another plague free year, my dear.

Check out the commemorative movie in the side bar. Or here.

Please, Consider the Squirrels

2008-12-18T19:00:00.004-05:00

I know some of you have been wondering what we've been upto lately and some may be waiting for a report from us about going to the fancy black tie gala, almost meeting the President of the United States of America, and standing 50 feet away from former Secretary of State, Colin Powell. And while I know my new (and already defunct) life as a DC socialite is of great interest, I feel I need to take this time to turn your attention to matter of utmost importance: the economic downturn of the acorn economy and the plight of the Virginia grey squirrel. That’s right folks, you aren’t they only one’s getting an economic kick in the pants. Due to an unforeseen collapse in acorn production, the squirrels are facing the toughest winter since the infamous acorn depression of 1908. I’m serious, and this is an issue that hits close to home. We have a large and (what was) thriving acorn manufacturing facility right outside our front door; as a result, huge numbers of squirrels have been attracted to this center of commerce. In addition, the growing popularity of the “eat local” movement among the grey squirrel community has brought in large numbers of eco-friendly squirrels trying to live closer to their food source and reduce their carbon footprint. Unfortunately the demand for acorns this winter will far exceed the output, and the squirrels are going to sufer. I'm afraid this winter we are going to see an acorn soup line right outside our door; but don't worry, I hear a bailout is just around the corner.

Breaking the Vow of Silence

2008-11-16T20:38:00.005-05:00

"For those about to rock, we salute you."

It took an AC/DC concert to bring us out of blog semi-retirement, because, wow, you just can't let something of that magnitude pass without comment. It went something like this:

Derek, work, executive suite, wild academics, AC/DC, an extra ticket and me.

We've been thunderstruck.

Defender of Liberty

2008-09-21T18:04:00.009-04:00

I think it only fair I warn you that for my new job I have sworn to defend the Constitution against all enemies. I’m serious, you mess with the Constitution, you mess with me. Be afraid, I am a defender of liberty.

As a sworn defender of liberty, I have developed an uncanny ability to sniff out threats to freedom. Take our apartment, for example.

This picture was taken before we moved in. And that green is MUCH greener in real life.

Before I took the oath I all I saw was a really bad paint job. Now when I look at our apartment I see it for what it really is: an insidious Communist plot to overthrow the government and take away our personal liberty. You heard me right, insidious communist plot. You see, when we first moved in I felt an intense revulsion to the pairing of sherbet orange with green mint chip – great ice creams, bad paint. But as the days went by the revulsion weakened to dislike and pretty soon dislike weakened to (almost) indifference. If something hadn’t happened to wake me up, I would have woken up one morning and thought, “The paint really grows on you, I quite like the way the green brings out the oranginess of the orange. Who knew a fluorescent entryway could be so life-affirming ? And you know what else? I think it’s time we overthrow our evil capitalist government, restrict our personal freedom, and redistribute the wealth to the proletariat. The Soviet Russians always seemed like such happy people.” That’s how it begins, but this is how it ends.

Once again landlord friendly beige saves the day. Go America.

In Memoriam

2008-09-05T10:55:00.007-04:00

This week I am mourning my garden.

My beautiful, fruitful garden.

I feel the loss most especially at this time of year when I crave nothing but juicy peaches and zesty tomatoes. And fresh basil. Lots of it - for almost nothing.

And yesterday I bought a peach from the grocery store that was mealy and gross. It cost me $2.00 and I had to throw it away.

To console myself in my gardenless misery, I opened up my very last bottle of peach butter. Mmm, peach butter. It helped take the edge off the sting of having to BUY zucchini this time of the year.

If YOU find yourself the lucky recipient of two very large buckets of free peaches, I urge you to try this recipe.

Peach Butter To Soothe the Soul
(yields abt 4 pints)

4 to 4.5 lbs peaches (abt 18 medium)
4 cups sugar
1/2 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
(or any combination of above spices)

Ready? Set? Okay, blanch peaches so you can easily peel, pit and chop them. Cook chopped peaches until soft - add a little water to avoid sticking to the pan. Press cooked peaches through a food mill or sieve. Measure 2 quarts peach pulp and return to the pot, adding the sugar and spices. Cook until thick and the peach stuff stays mounded on the spoon. You will need to stir frequently. Plan on cooking for at least 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, sterilize canning jars, rings and lids. When butter is ready, pour hot butter into hot jars, leaving 1/4 inch head space. Remove bubbles and wipe rim clean. Place the lids and rings on jars and process in a water bath for 10 minutes.

Ebay Fever

2008-08-29T11:30:00.006-04:00

I bought a chair on Ebay and it may have been folly, but it was SO Exhilarating!

Who knew that sweeping in at at the last minute and spoiling other people's bids could be so FUN? I mean, who cares about the chair? I WON!

So, you want to see it?

I warn you, it's teal and it's vinyl.

Did I mention that it's teal. And vinyl?

Now, I just need to pick it up in Delaware. Anyone know how to get to Delaware?

Can You Do That?!!

2008-08-27T16:42:00.005-04:00

I've been distracted by Facebook. Yes, I am the last person under fifty to discover this form of voyeur, I mean, social networking. It's great, you get to collect friends. The last collection I had was of Garbage Pail Kids. Now it's like having a collection of Garbage Pail Kids that talk, um, type.

But back to The Blog. How's this for blog fodder?

Why, Farm Girl, what are those little blue baggies piled up by your dilapidated apartment door? Surely it's not what I think it is....

Oh, but it is. Little doggie poop bags. These people are going for partial credit in cleaning up after their dog, but I say they get NOTHING!

Final Grade? F-

Dirty neighbors, you get negative points for subjecting us all to your grossness every time we enter our apartment door.

I Double Dog Dare You

2008-08-22T12:15:00.008-04:00

After waking up, watching some M*A*S*H reruns (can you ever get enough?) and eating leftover cookie dough for breakfast; I fought a mighty battle with my inner lazy self and got out for a run along the mighty Potomac. Now that I am back, I think I deserve a little bit of this.

Mmm, Coconut Peach Ice Cream with Toasted Almonds. AT: The Kitchen has been having an ice cream contest and there are real some dandies. You should check it out.

I know, it is a little unorthodox to post a Good Food Friday recipe that I haven't actually made, but doesn’t it look delightful?

Please, try this recipe. If not for you and not for me, do it for the children. I dare you.

For another great ice cream recipe, try the Lunch Lady's Rolo Ice Cream. This is one ice cream recipe I can vouch for.

P.S. I'm sure you can substitute the amaretto liquor in the coconut peach ice cream with almond extract.

Confessions Part II or What I Did On My Summer Vacation

2008-08-18T10:54:00.005-04:00

I spent the last three weeks growing out my eyebrows because the Today Show told me to.

I'm still not sure why.

SIDEOUT...

2008-08-13T19:47:00.003-04:00

President Bush says: "Good game!"

On Women's Beach Volleyball

2008-08-13T09:40:00.009-04:00

My least favorite Summer Olympic sport is beach volleyball, specifically women's beach volleyball. I just don't get it. First of all, what's the point in playing volleyball on a faux beach? It's not like the players are going to run into the ocean for a quick dip after the game; they are playing in a park. In Beijing. Where they had to haul in 17,000 tons of sand! That means that somewhere in China is a very embarrassed and very naked beach.

Secondly, what about the sport makes it necessary to wear itsy bitsy uniforms? If you can even call those "uniforms". I am pretty sure there is some sort of minimum yardage requirement in order for an outfit to qualify as a uniform. I'm no prude, but come on. You don't see that much flesh on the men; they don't feel they have to wear Speedos on the court. You don't even see that much flesh on the swimmers, and they actually go in the water. This leads me to conclude there is no direct correlation between the amount of clothing worn and the quality of performance.

Maverick says: "Put on some clothes."

Confessions Part I

2008-08-11T10:21:00.012-04:00

I am a crazy cat lady.

I like to go to pet supply stores in my spare time (which I have a great deal of right now) and pet the adopt-a-kittens. It makes my nose run and my eyes itch, but I do it anyway.

Last Saturday, while Derek was getting his hair cut, I ran across the parking lot for a nice round of caged kitten petting and walked out the door with what is sure to be a permanent case of runny nose.

We call him Teddy Roosevelt.

Not that Roosevelt, this one.

Like his name sake he is a mighty hunter and an avid explorer. When I am up, he is too. And with a vengeance. It takes an equally skilled and sneaky hunter to catch him all in one frame.

Give me some time, I'll get there.

Couscous Appreciation Day

2008-08-08T09:52:00.010-04:00

For today’s Good Food Friday, I bring to you Sweet Potato Couscous Salad. A simple couscous treat full bright fresh flavors that will do a little dance on your tongue.

Derek liked it so well he immediately packed up the leftovers for his lunch the next day.

Couscous Appreciation Day Facts

1. Originated in North Africa
2. Dates as far back as the 10th century – even predates pasta
3. Accounts of couscous starting popping up in Britain in the 1640s. 4. Readily takes on the flavors of other foods cooked or served with it
5. Low fat source of complex carbohydrates

(Thanks Wikipedia)

Get Down Tonight Sweet Potato Couscous Salad

2 cups couscous
2 ½ cups hot chicken broth
2 medium (to small) sweet potatoes, peeled and diced
7 oz snow peas
3 T olive oil (extra for roasting sweet potatoes)
½ tsp chili paste
¼ cup finely chopped mint
¼ cup lemon juice
1 T honey

Preheat oven to 400 degrees, brush cookie sheet and diced sweet potatoes with olive oil and roast for around 25 minutes. Meanwhile, prepare couscous by bringing chicken broth to a boil and adding the couscous. Cover and let stand. Blanch snow peas. In a small bowl mix olive oil, chili paste, mint, lemon juice and honey. In large serving bowl combine couscous, sweet potato and snow peas; mix with dressing and serve!

(For more good couscous recipe check out my little sister's Good Food Friday posts.)

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

2008-08-06T15:16:00.003-04:00

Dear 2008 Cache Valley Phone Book:

It’s been nearly four week now since I left you behind. Left behind your helpful index, your reliable phone numbers, the coupons tucked in the back. For four weeks now I have been struggling to move on – to leave you in the past. But I can’t. Foolishly I thought I would move and find another, a phone book with better listings, a phone book with more sophistication, one that would better fit my new life. But when I got here, the counters were bare and the cupboards were empty. I searched high and low thinking there had to be a phone book somewhere, but to no avail. For a couple of weeks I maintained hope that one morning I would awaken and find that some kind soul, one of those anonymous phone book delivery saints, had left one on my doorstep, a nice crisp 2008 NOVA phone book. But every morning I awoke to find only heartbreaking nothingness. My faith began to falter, but hope still remained; I started casually looking in the recycling bin hoping to find someone’s tattered and outdated copy, but I never found anything more than cereal boxes and junk mail. And then I began to get desperate. One Saturday Mr. B and I were walking in the District and as we passed a bus stop bench I saw a whole stack of phonebooks! New phonebooks! Just sitting there! Some were even still in their plastic wrappers. Just as I was about to let my fingers do the walking, the homeless man who belonged to the bus stop bench (and, I assume, the nice new phone books) caught my eye and warned me away with a look that told me only a fool would mess with a homeless man’s phone books.

I’ve given up. I have no more hope. In the past new phone books have just always been there for me, with every new apartment and every new town. In fact, at times I had so many phone books I simply threw the extras away. How young and naïve I was then. I admit I took you for granted. I didn’t recognize your value. I didn’t know I was so dependent on you. But then you were gone and there wasn’t another one to fill the void. And I am suffering for it. I can’t to do the simplest things: call the internet provider, find a mechanic, or shop for furniture; I feel isolated and alone.

I am sorry. I didn’t know.

Farm Girl

Independence…In the Nations Capital?

2008-07-04T11:11:00.007-04:00

It’s been awhile since my last post, but right here, right now I’d like to announce…I’m back!

What better time or place to stage my comeback than on this hot, humid, and hazy Independence Day in Washington D.C.

I’ve been in the D.C. area for about a month. What do I have to show for it? I’ve got two paychecks, two new checking accounts (?), one lonely wife, a new house, and I’m a whole lot smarter!

Farm Girl and I found a great place to live while she was out here a few weeks ago. This was more difficult than one might think. We each held certain selection criteria that differed from one another. I valued ease of commute, while Farm Girl valued superfluous things like cleanliness, quality, and storage space! The only thing we held in common was the desire to spend as little cash as possible and get the most bang for our buck. After many tears and a few well placed sarcastic comments, we were finally able to find a place that meets almost all these requirements.

We’ll be living in Alexandria, VA! We’re only a few blocks from Old Town Alexandria, a few miles from Mt. Vernon, and a few minutes from the Nation’s capital! Out of all our siblings who live in foreign and exotic places, such as Chicago, Los Angeles, Spanish Fork, and Salt Lake City; we by far have the best location. This means that all vacation plans to these lesser locations should be changed at once. Let it be known that all are welcome here (unless we don’t really know you -that might be a little creepy).

I think this’ll be a great place for us. Where else do you get stopped by the Presidential motorcade on your way to work? In what other town do you get searched by secret service agents because a hip foreign dignitary is staying in the hotel across from where you work? In what other location do you get views like this from your office building?

So while you’re enjoying your July 4th BBQs, watching firework shows, perhaps packing and moving my stuff, or just wonder why and how government has over stepped its bounds and is doing a whole lot more than protecting your life, liberty, and property; remember Farm Girl and Mr. Beaver Mountain...we’re still here. We’ve just been busy. We’ll soon be reunited like star crossed lovers in a grand reunion, and the blogging machine that is Pocket Litter will be back in full force.

Boo. Packing.

2008-07-01T19:55:00.006-04:00

I think packing up my house is rekindling my desire to blog. I've already plucked my eyebrows, made a pie, counted all the change in the spare change jar, looked through the photo albums and all the loose photos around the albums, paid the bills and made lots of lists of things I need to do but probably won't. The only things left to do are pack and blog. I chose to blog. But my guilty conscience told me to keep it short. So I am done. But don't be surprised if I show up again this week.

Mad dog update: The could-be-rabid dog showed up at my place of business exactly one week from the day. This time, though, he left in a garbage bag. I kind of feel sad for him.

Just Another Manic Monday

2008-06-10T00:08:00.008-04:00

To Do List for Monday, June 9th:

Pick up 5 dozen bagels
Set-up breakfast for 60 teachers
Start registration for conference
Call 911 and report rabid dog
Call Animal Control
Send teacher to hospital
Talk to police officers
Carefully avoid wounded rabid dog
Talk to the Health Department
Go home and mow the lawn

Seriously, you just never know what you're going to get at my work. Some days it is a lose buffalo walking casually past the office window (and really, I don't care how cool the buffalo plays it, one day he is going to learn that it is impossible for a buffalo to walk free and unnoticed) other days we have baby skunks hanging outside the office door, or goats on the run, or raccoons slaughtering chickens, or ponies getting frisky in front of sensitive mothers - I don't know, but there is always something. This morning we just happened to have a ferocious and possibly rabid dog standing guard outside the building during the history conference and summer camp registrations. Unfortunately, by the time I received report of this dog, he had bitten two teachers attending the conference and one of our camp leaders. I'm telling you, this was one mad dog. My favorite part of the morning was when I went out to talk to the Animal Control guy and the two officers, and they told me they couldn't catch the dog (he had decided that if he was going down, he was going to take one of them with him) and they were going to have to put him down. When I expressed my concern over them shooting the dog with 30 young campers hanging around, they cheerfully assured me they would wait until the kids were gone, besides they were going to have Officer Jones take care of it because, you know, he has the gun with the silencer.

That's right, silencer.

Well, it turns out Officer Jones isn't such a great shot, so somewhere out in the wilds of Wellsville is a wounded, possibly rabid dog - and his Monday stunk worse than mine.

Good Food Friday

2008-05-31T00:27:00.015-04:00

In between the rain, the sleet and the rain, the sun keeps making brief tantalizing appearances that almost trick me into believing if I hold my breath, say my name backward three times and throw salt over my shoulder, that maybe, someday, it just might be summer. And if summer means we can have two sunny days in a row, then I am more than ready for summer. So, on this Good Food Friday I am giving you my Now THIS is Summer Sandwich.

First buy a beautiful loaf sourdough bread. Made by true artisans, please.

Then, quality control, with lots of butter.

Next, assemble the cast of characters.
Not pictured: Mayo, onion, provolone

Don't forget to admire the coolness of the mushrooms as you prepare to thickly slice them. Begin to saute the sliced onions, then add the mushrooms and saute until appropriately... sauteed.
Thickly chop the basil and mix with mayo. Slice the roasted red pepper and then assemble the sandwich.

Mmm. It's delightful.

THIS is Summer Sandwich
Portobello Mushrooms
Onion (red, yellow, sweet - they're all good)

Roasted Red Pepper (it is fun and easy to do it yourself, but you can easily buy them bottled)

Basil
Mayonnaise
Provolone
Sour Dough Bread

Good Food Friday and Other Random Stuff

2008-05-16T14:23:00.007-04:00

Random stuff #1:

True story: Yesterday during our school program we met a little girl named Abcdee. I wonder which letter she goes by for short.

Random stuff #2:

Also yesterday, Derek and I discovered that I exist on RateMyProfessor.com. In 2004 one of my students rated me, and while I quite nervous to see what this student said about, I was pleasantly surprised. And I quote: "I learned something for once, rather than just fulfilling assignments." I taught somebody something!! Somebody learned something worthwhile. From me! I think that is pretty cool. And I had a chile pepper next to my - that means I'm hot.

And with that, here is today's recipe:

Derek is Hot for Teacher, Turkey Pesto Burgers

1 1/4 pounds lean ground turkey
2 tablespoons basil pesto
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
1 1/2 teaspoons seasoned (or regular)salt
1/2 cup bread crumbs

Mix all ingredients in bowl, form patties and grill. It's just that easy.

I did have a moment of hesitation tyring to figure out what kind of burger sauce to put on it. Ketchup? BBQ sauce? Neither seemed quite right, so I opted for some extra pesto on top and it was just right.

Who Are You?

2008-05-15T10:53:00.010-04:00

I was asked by my new employer to write a 4 to 5 sentence bio that was no more than 100 words. It had to be written in the third person and cover the following: Tells us where you are from, a little about your career until this point, your outside interests, and anything else the group might find interesting.

In addition to the bio, I had to send them a photo. The photo was the most difficult part. I don’t have a bunch of head shots kicking around. In fact the above photo was my only option for awhile!

I kept digging through years of digital files and came up with this:

Derek grew up in Provo, Utah and recently received a Master’s degree in Political Science from Utah State University. He splits his time between his research and enjoying Utah’s vast landscape and outdoor opportunities. Before joining the Koch Associate Program, Derek was a research fellow at the Institute of Political Economy and a professional ski instructor.

It's not an ideal photo, but I'm glad I have a wife that takes pictures of me or I'd have to be the "big faced,mustache man with the moon eyes!"

Can I really be boiled down into three sentances and I photo? I think I can.

What's your bio?

OH CANADA!

2008-05-09T14:39:00.015-04:00

In the previous post I compared Canada to Colorado. I've felt bad ever since...no place deserves to be compared with Colorado. So, to make up for my unfortunate actions, I give you the Pocket Litter Tribute to Canada! Today we celebrate all things Canadian.

I've comprised a list of the greatest things that Canada has exported to the world.

1. Neil Young - By far Canada's greatest export!

2. RUSH - Perhaps the world's most triumphant three-piece band.

3. Randy Buachman - The greatest Canadian Mormon guitar player ever! You might remember him from such bands as The Guess Who and BTO (Buachman-Turner Overdrive).

4. Hockey - I don't get it, but since I'm moving to D.C...GO CAPS!

5. Curling - Now that's a sport!

6. The Bugaboo's - Now these are some great mountains!

This is the best list I can come-up with.

What are your favorite things Canada?

In closing I leave you with video of some of Canada's Native sons!

Neil Young

Rush

Curling

Pants Colorado

2008-05-09T13:00:00.008-04:00

I’ve never been able to understand what people see in Colorado. Besides being a great place to get your shark on and have your van break down, it’s got nothing on ole UT.
I came across this video over at the Mountain Culture. It’s just one more piece of evidence in the case against Colorado.

Colorado is to Utah what Canada is to the United States.

2008-05-09T00:06:00.010-04:00

Happy Graduation, Derek!!! You look so handsome and scholarly in those robes, but, seriously, what's up with the sleeves?

Is there something in there?

Jump back! Is that what I think it is?

Wow, a master's degree and snacks in your sleeves! Those guys really are smart.

Now I just want to know how you get to be the guy with the scepter.

Weird Science: Results T1

2008-05-07T10:32:00.011-04:00

Warning: Disturbing images below. If you wish to use the restroom in ignorance refrain from viewing.

The results are in! According to our findings from the first sample, it appears that it doesn’t matter which restroom you use…they're all gross. Our findings do suggest that you never use the restroom on the first floor of Old Main (far left column)! I don’t know what kind of bacteria the central administration is growing, but I don’t like it.

Notice the two control dishes on the far right. C1 (bottom right) was taken from my hands before washing them. C2 (top right) was taken from my hands post washing. Greater amounts of bacteria grew from my washed hands! This either means that washing hands is bad for you and the negligent actions of men everywhere has been validated, or that the results from this test are suspect. I side with the latter. What did you expect…I’m a Political Scientist!

I wish I had the ability to indentify what was growing on the dishes. But maybe it's better not knowing.

Check out the close-ups.

I had to toss this sample out…it was getting a little ripe. I had them growing in my old office (I’ve begun work on a new grant and moved down the hall) and I think my old office mates hate me now!

The results from T2 are on their way!

MAY DAY...

2008-05-01T11:02:00.010-04:00

Welcoming in May one snowflake at a time!

Here's some pictures I took this morning on the way to pay a horrible library fine that stood between me and Master of Science.

Weird Science

2008-04-29T13:13:00.010-04:00

I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but believe me when I tell you; I've been a little busy. I've finished and defended my thesis! It's true, you can see it here.

So, now that I'm a Master of Science I thought I'd utilize my powers for good.

Question?
If there are only three stalls in a restroom, all are empty, which one do you choose? Do you value privacy and go for the stall farthest from the door, the middle stall or the one closest to the door?

Take the poll in the sidebar!

I suggest that most individuals will instinctively go for stall number 3, the farthest from the door. Because of this, I almost always use the stall closest to the door, assuming that less use = a cleaner stall.

To test this I've acquired 24 Petri dishes from a biology lab on campus and run an experiment.

The hypotheses are:

H0: Stall 1 (closest to the door) is not cleaner than stall 3 (farthest from the door).
H1: Stall 1 (closest to the door) is cleaner than stall 3 (farthest from the door).

To test these hypotheses, my office mate Ryan and I took samples from the toilet seat and handle from all of the men's room stalls in Old Main on the Utah State University Campus (a simple random selection of restrooms was not conducted due to time constraints). The idea is that the stall that is used the most will have more bacteria growth.

Key research assumption: more use leads to more bacteria on the seat and handle, and this will lead to more growth in the dishes.
We have to give these guys some time to grow. I’ll post the results soon!

Disclaimer: due to the experimental design used, inferences cannot be made to a more general population.

Penitent Food Friday

2008-04-18T18:42:00.005-04:00

I'm sorry. I really am. I am truly committed to Good Food Friday. (I am also hiding out in my backroom, again, while the repairman is in the kitchen with the fridge, again.)

I don't have anything cool going on in my life to cleverly link my recipe too, so I am just going to throw out something random I decided to try from AT: The Kitchen. Brace yourselves, this one's a little unconventional, but surprisingly good (Derek did wish it was a little more saucy).

Tangy Broccoli Pasta

1 lb broccoli
2 tbl water
1/2 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/3 cup chopped flat leaf parsley
1 lemon
1/2 cup feta
1/4 water
olive oil
salt and pepper

Cut broccoli into small pieces and steam with 2 tbl water; season with salt and pepper. Saute onion and garlic in olive oil until soften and add steamed broccoli. Continue cooking until onion is translucent. Add parsley and juice of 1 lemon and simmer for a couple of minutes.

Transfer broccoli mixture to a blender or food processor and add 1/4 cup of the feta and 1/4 cup water. Puree mixture until smooth; add a little olive and extra water for bring mixture to the desired consistency. Salt and pepper to taste.

Serve over pasta - something with ridges.

Isn't the color lovely?

New Movie: The Robots are Coming

2008-04-16T01:54:00.005-04:00

While I was cruising Vegas (again), Liz was getting ready for Baby Animal Days at the American West Heritage Center.

I think I got the better end of the deal. I was able to present a paper (Moonshiners and Mormons: Internet and Garbage Socialism in Utah) and hang with lovers of liberty. Liz on the other hand, had to work...and play with baby animals.

The Team caught some footage from Baby Animal Days...don't worry there are no cute animals here, only dark robot aliens. Liz selected the music, so you can blame the cheese on her. Although I must say that the band is brilliant! Checkout our latest production in the sidebar or at the Pocket Litter Productions homepage.

Hat tip to the Mobile Command Unit, the most Rockingest band ever.

Once an Aggie, Always an Aggie

2008-04-04T14:56:00.008-04:00

Craig D. Jessop, former music director for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, has been named head of Utah State University’s department of music.

“I am absolutely thrilled to become a professor and head of the music department at Utah State University for many reasons,” Jessop said. “First of all, I’m an Aggie. My wife is an Aggie and all four of our children are Aggies. I am excited to be able to return to the valley and the university I love so much. And to now be in a position to give back to the educational process is a dream come true. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I feel strongly that this is the season of my life to give.”

You can read all about it here.

Good Food Friday Recipe Review

2008-03-28T21:20:00.009-04:00

I played hooky from work today to get in one last ski day and it was *sigh* really, really great. I wish I could have shared it with you all, but I couldn't; instead I will share with you a review of Pioneer Woman's Asian Noodle Salad.

Lots and lots of chopping - very little cooking + lots and lots of tasty flavors x healthy vegetables = 2 happy diners

Try it, you'll like it. Just make sure you have a really big bowl. I thought I had cut down on the inexact measurements Pioneer Woman uses, but I still ended up with so much food it took me 3 tries to find a pot just right. Goldilocks would have been proud.

New Movie: Mr. Hoover & His Dam

2008-03-26T10:25:00.003-04:00

I spent a few days in Vegas a couple of weeks ago doing the things you do in Vegas…hanging out with nerdy political scientists (I’m no exception) and visiting Hoover Dam!

I was in Las Vegas presenting a paper, Alternative Voting Systems: the Effect of Voting Systems on Single-Winner Multicandidate Electoral Outcomes (see the nerdiness), at the Southwestern Political Science Association annul conference. The best thing I did, besides not make a fool of myself, was visit Hoover Dam. That thing is huge! Check out our latest production in the sidebar or at the Pocket Litter Productions homepage.

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!

Treasures in the Snow

2008-03-25T12:30:00.008-04:00

The beautiful warm weather has finally melted all the snow from our yard and revealed a hidden layer of winter refuse. Yesterday afternoon Derek walked out into our yard and along with the 4-month-old, soggy, shredded newspapers and bits of construction garbage, he picked up a pair of black tights! My black tights! The very same black tights I have been looking for all winter long.

It is a very vulnerable feeling to find your tights hanging out in public without you.

New Movie: A Seattle Minute

2008-03-23T18:19:00.002-04:00

We recently had a great time doing and not doing whatever we wanted to in Seattle. You’ll find the music selection is a hat tip to the birthplace of grunge. I felt like I was in Jr. high all over again. All we needed was holes in my jeans and an ill fitting flannel shirt tied around my waste. What a time, what a town!

Check out our latest production in the sidebar or at the Pocket Litter Productions website.

Good Friday Food

2008-03-21T11:34:00.007-04:00

I know this is another copout, but I'm *cough, cough* sick, and this is what you eat when you are sick (in my house, anyway).

Go ahead, feel sorry for me.

Repairman Etiquette (or phantom post)

2008-03-19T23:42:00.004-04:00

Our fridge broke in September. And then it fixed itself. And then it broke and fixed itself again in November, December, January, January again, and then February. In February we finally called a repairman. This wasn’t the first time we called a repairman. Back in September we called a guy who came out for 3.5 minutes, said he couldn’t do anything and then charged us $69. But this was my first real-life repairman (Derek met the last one) and let me tell you, it was a little awkward. If there is a proper way to host a repairman in one’s home, I certainly don’t know it.
Do You:

(A) Welcome him to your home, offer him a refreshing beverage, introduce him to the errant appliance and then chitchat with him about his former life as a minor league baseball player while he cheerfully repairs your appliance?
(B) Open the door, ask him what took so long, tell him you’re paying him good money and he better not waste any time diddle dawdling in his fancy toolbox and going out to his truck twelve times. Then do you sit yourself down on a stool two feet away and warn him that he better not try to steal anything because you’ll be watching?
(C) Ask him in, apologize for your kitchen not being spick-and-span, give him a lengthy and detailed account of your appliance’s misbehavior – complete with sound effects, chat about Cache Valley weather (Sure is wintery this winter) and then retreat awkwardly to another part of the house to make yourself busy doing who-knows-what because you’re never home during the day and really have no idea what normal people do at home in the daytime, especially when there is strange man down the hall in your kitchen. Then do you keep contriving reasons to casually walk past or through the kitchen just in case you really should be out there and not hiding in your bedroom with the TV turned down low?

I chose C. And, seriously, I felt like I was at a seventh grade dance, hiding in the girl’s bathroom because I saw that weird kid from Home Room doggedly hunting down every girl in the school and asking her to dance. But just like when the repairman came, I couldn’t stay in there forever; periodically the other gawky, brace faced girls and I would feel compelled to dart out into the danger zone just in case another more acceptable boy wanted to dance. I’m pretty sure the repair guy wouldn’t have asked me to dance, but if he had I probably would have panicked and said yes.

The Candidates Need One of These Guys

2008-03-18T19:05:00.003-04:00

Just in the Nick of Time

2008-03-15T01:24:00.011-04:00

I’ve been a little busy this week and with Derek out of town, I just didn’t feel compelled to cook anything. But, in the spirit of Good Food Friday, I decided I should post a couple of recipes I always have in my back pocket.

This first one is an oldie but goodie and is Harvey sibling original. While I don’t remember the details of its genesis, I imagine it was created one hungry Saturday afternoon while our parents were out running errands. So, without further ado, let me present to you:

Oatmeal Glop
1 blue or red 70s era Texas tumbler
Quick cooking oatmeal
Sugar
Milk

Fill cup with oatmeal. Scoop several spoonfuls of sugar into oatmeal filled cup. Add milk and let sit for just a moment to let the milk soak into the oatmeal, then add more milk and stir – repeat until desired consistency and enjoy! For a more sophisticated palate, try adding a little cinnamon and nutmeg.

The second recipe is a little newer, and in my opinion a little grosser; I quite like it. It was introduced to me a couple of years ago by a close friend we’ll call “Derek”.

Derek’s Toaster Gross

1 toaster
Small flour tortillas
Kraft cheese singles

Peel one cheese single from the wrapper and place in flour tortilla. Fold in half and place in toaster. Cook until toasty and melty. It tastes great (as long as you have pretty low expectations) and it doesn’t dirty any dishes. The perfect “I’m wearing sweats, I’ve given up on life, give me a processed toaster meal” meal. It’s also great for single guys.

And there you have it, another Good Food Friday.

It Is Not Good That Liz Should Be Alone

2008-03-13T03:21:00.006-04:00

When Derek is out of town I:
1. Quit making food
2. Don’t clean the house
3. Stay up too late
4. Wake up too late
5. Get sucked into reality TV shows I don’t normally watch
6. Watch way too many crime shows “ripped from the headlines”

Number 6 then causes me to lie awake in bed imagining all the ways the bad guys could break into my house. This, in turn, has led me to conclude that all houses should be equipped with these basic safety features:

1. Peep holes – because I have decided there is no good reason I should ever open my door to a stranger
2. Alarm systems
3. Bars and/or house armor (The family I stayed with in France had house armor that pulled down over all the windows and doors. It was awesome.)
4. Bludgeon/bullet proof doors and windows
5. A door leading outside from my bedroom
6. Panic rooms in every room
7. Some sort of evil intention sensor in the yard

8. And I want my own taser

I don't think this is too extreme; standard home safety features leave us far too vulnerable. If there is any lesson to be learned from watching crime TV, it is that a flimsy lock on a door isn’t going to keep any truly determined bad guy out. I promise, I'm only paranoid when I'm alone in the dark.

Friday Recipe

2008-03-07T02:10:00.010-05:00

I have conquered a childhood food prejudice. As of last month, I no longer have to be forced to sit at the table all night long until I finish my lentil soup. In an effort to integrate more meatless dishes into our diet, I took a leap of faith and made this soup. I really must be a grown up now because I didn’t make any gagging noises during dinner, nor was I forced to hold my nose and close my eyes for every bite. It was actually good! Notice this recipe calls for red lentils. My lentil legume-ism is founded upon the regular sickly green colored lentils (Let’s be honest, most lentil soup looks like barf). Red lentils are so much cuter.

Why I decided to give lentils one more try:
1.) Health magazine (I’ve never read it either) recently ranked lentils among the world’s five healthiest foods.
2.) Lentils are one of those “heart healthy” foods; they are a good source of protein, fiber and iron.
3.) The lens of the eye is named after the Latin word for lentil beans - lens. Lens (the bean) became lentil in English from the Latin diminutive – lenticula, which became lentille in French and then lentil when adopted by the English language! This was the clincher for me.

Not at all Gross, Red Lentil Soup
Serves 4

3 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
Pinch of ground chili powder or cayenne, more to taste
1 quart chicken broth
1 cup red lentils
1 large carrot, peeled and diced
Juice of 1/2 lemon
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro.

Heat olive oil in a large pot and sauté the onion and garlic until golden. Stir in tomato paste, cumin, salt, pepper and chili or cayenne powder and sauté for 2 minutes. Add broth, 2 cups water, lentils, and carrot and bring to a simmer. Partially cover pot and simmer on medium low heat for 30 minutes, or until the lentils are soft. Use an immersion blender or food processor to purée half of the soup. Add blended soup back to pot. Stir in lemon juice and cilantro.

A Lesson Learned

2008-03-05T01:14:00.006-05:00

Never, ever write your blog posts in Blogger. Because you will just be adding the finishing touches to the post you've been working on for the last hour and a half and then *poof* it will disappear! Just like that. Gone. Nothingness. Blank screen. Glowing emptiness. And nothing you do will bring it back. And you will most likely feel a mix of rage and helplessness. And you will wail, and shake your fists, and gnash your teeth, and your husband will look at you like you've lost your mind - because you have! And still, there is nothing you can do. Eventually you will have to accept defeat and go to bed.

Please Blog With Me

2008-02-28T23:50:00.008-05:00

Today is the day we share with the world a tasty recipe of our choosing. Just choose something good because today is the first ever Good Food Friday. Hooray!! Can you hear the trumpets? See the fireworks? Feel the good food rocking your world? I know you have something to share. So, sisters, friends, countrymen-please, start your blogging.

My choice this week is a new (to me) recipe, with lots of flavor. If you like bland food, you probably shouldn't try this one.

Well, here goes!

Ginger Sesame Noodles with Broccoli
serves 4

2 tablespoons tahini
1 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoon mirin (I didn’t use it – right or wrong, I used chicken broth instead)
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
¼ cup tamari
2 tablespoons water
12 oz. linguine
8 oz. broccoli floret or asparagus (or both) cut into 1 inch pieces
2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
1 tablespoon canola oil
2 cloves minced garlic
2 tablespoons minced ginger
Toasted sesame seeds

In small bowl, combine tahini, brown sugar, mirin, and red pepper flakes until blended and set aside. Cook pasta according to directions in large pot. Cook pasta about five minutes and then add the broccoli, continue cooking until just tender. Drain and rinse with cold water then toss with sesame oil. Meanwhile heat the canola oil in a large skillet or wok. Add the garlic and ginger and stir-fry until fragrant. Add noodles, broccoli and sauce and toss to combine –cook until heated through. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and serve.

(Note: I didn’t cook quite as much pasta as the recipe calls for, but then didn’t think to adjust the sauce. It was a little strong, but still good.)

Clearly I am going to have to practice my food photography

New Movie: Middle of Nowhere

2008-02-26T09:05:00.003-05:00

As far as I can tell, the middle of nowhere is really only good for engaging in activities that are against the law or break societal norms. This is most likely the reason why you see a higher number of “crazies” per capita in the middle of nowhere, than in any other place.

Check out our latest production, Middle of Nowhere, in the sidebar. I should say that I came across this footage at random and have no idea when it was shot, where it was shot, who shot it, or who was driving. I can say that those guys must be pretty cool. Enjoy!

Wasting Time

2008-02-25T17:29:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about riding my bike today and found this…

Back to the thesis!

The Pothole That Ate Our Car

2008-02-22T20:43:00.007-05:00

Seriously.

My New MPFree Player!

2008-02-12T23:19:00.003-05:00

Thanks again, Hollywood!

New Movie: BUSTED

2008-02-11T11:36:00.001-05:00

Heading home after a long day of skiing, we came across this amazing mishap! Apparently this guy was swerving all over the road and couldn’t quit negotiate this turn. We saw this guy up on the hill and he skis about as well as he drives. The most entertaining part of this whole thing is that the guy looks just like Napoleon Dynamite! Fortunately no one was hurt and I’m pretty sure the guy ended up with a DUI.

Checkout the footage in the sidebar.

New Movie: King of Telemark

2008-02-08T23:31:00.002-05:00

Everybody who's anybody knows that Royce "the dancin' fool" Webb is the King of Telemark. Check out the footage of him rippin' up Logan Canyon in the sidebar!

It was also a banner day for Liz who can now ski down anything with style!

Husbands Say the Darndest Things

2008-02-07T11:47:00.001-05:00

Just a couple of days ago my sister-in-law put up a post about my brother whispering sweet craziness during the night. In her post she says, "My all time favorite story of Chris is when we were first married. One night, he rolled over and gave me a big hug then said, 'Maybe if we format it, it'll be alright.'

I love it, that story cracks me up every time - it is just so Chris.

Well, last night my ever obliging husband gave me one of his own. I was twisting and turning in bed trying to get comfortable when Derek's sleepy self grumpily says to me, "Careful, I'm a Super Delegate." Pardon me, if I had known I had a Super Delegate in my bed, I would have been more careful.

Holy Stinkin' Moly

2008-02-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

I win! That's right, I am a winner. I am the winningest winner who ever did win. Who knew winning felt so good? It's not like I've never experienced the sweet taste of victory before - in highschool I did win a rad keychain at the Shakespearean Festival - but, wow, winning key baubles sure pales in comparison to winning electronics.

Be jealous, that sweet baby is mine.

Things That Go Ping in the Night

2008-01-30T17:55:00.001-05:00

I woke up this morning without my wedding band on. I went to bed with it on, but when I woke up it was gone. While I was hunting through my covers trying to find it, I vaguely recollected hearing a small *ping* sometime in the night. I started hunting around the room and, sure enough, there was my ring sitting innocently in the far corner of our bedroom. That ring is so grounded.

New Movie: Baby Beav

2008-01-27T21:07:00.001-05:00

We spent the weekend at Bear Lake with the some friends and got to ski with one of our favorite little people. Checkout our latest production in the sidebar. Footage of the big kids is on its way!

New Movie: Fat's Hill

2008-01-21T16:11:00.001-05:00

Liz and I had a great day this weekend on Fat’s Hill up Logan Canyon. Fat’s is one of those backcountry spots where the people are few and the skiing is always good! Checkout our newest production in the sidebar.

The Blog Formerly Known As

2008-01-18T13:04:00.000-05:00

Identity Crisis Q&A

Q: What’s up with the blog title change?
A: The old one was, shall we say, stupid and unimaginative. And I never really liked it. Brian Williams and the Dateline folks get me worked up about things like identity theft, so I decided to no longer publicly publicize our first and last names (first maybe, but not last). And don’t be looking for our SS #s, banking accounts, addresses, security codes, and passwords either, ‘cuz they ain’t there.

Q: So, why Pocket Litter?
A: I don’t know, why not?

Q: Does your new, but still kind of stupid title have any particular meaning?
A. I am glad you asked! You see, the other day when I was at work researching our new really cool historical spy camps, I came across a list of spy terms, which included “pocket litter.” According to The Daring Book for Girls, “pocket litter” is spyspeak for “[the] items in a spy’s pocket (receipts, coins, etc.) that add authenticity to his or her identity.” Sigh. I love spies.

Q: What does the marmot have to do with pocket litter and spies?
A: Well, Dad, nothing - but isn’t he cute?

Q: When you were a kid, did you ever dream of becoming a spy?
A: Nope. I become extremely agitated when I’m doing something I’m not supposed to be doing – especially if there is the possibility of being caught, even more especially if there is the possibility of being caught by somebody who might have a gun. I would make a terrible spy. But, I do think they have best jargon of all the occupations.

New Addition

2008-01-17T12:22:00.000-05:00

If you will turn your attention to the sidebar you will notice our new addition! We have taken to making short movies and we enjoy sharing them with you all. But we don’t want them to interfere with our regular blogging space.

Each new movie will be featured in the sidebar and links to all movies, both new and old will be listed beneath. For example there is a new movie in there now. Once I figure out the code for adding an additional sidebar, screen left, movie time will be housed there (if any of you can be of assistance here let me know).

Also, we want to assure all you ski movie haters out there that fantastic telemark footage will not monopolize our movie magic.

So, sit back, grab some corn...it’s movie time!

Get Down, Get Deeper and Down

2008-01-15T10:59:00.001-05:00

There’s nothing but cold air and snow in Logan town this time of year…lots of snow. The season really only lends itself to one activity: Skiing.

This is our first attempt at movie making.

Enjoy.

*Disclaimer: ski footage was shot two years ago and all parties have greatly improved since.

My Mom the Blogger

2008-01-07T11:23:00.001-05:00

My mom, the genealogy PI, is now a blogger! For those of you who think genealogy is a boring hobby for little old ladies, check out the salacious gossip my mom posted on her new blog.

NJ-Genealogy PI

Moonshiners and Mormons

2007-12-19T13:10:00.001-05:00

I will be presenting a paper with another grad student and prof at this year’s Association of Private Enterprise Educators (APEE) conference in Las Vegas. Its entitled Moonshiners and Mormons: Garbage and Soccer Socialism in Utah.

It is built on the Bootleggers and Baptists (B&B) model of demand and supply of social regulation. Learn more here.

The B&B relationship is one of strange bedfellows. The analogy comes from alcohol probation. Baptists (or moral busybodies) use moral arguments to demonstrate the need for government regulation, in this case prohibition. The bootleggers support prohibition because it reduces their competition - two groups wanting the same thing for very different reasons. It’s the story of high-flown values and narrow interests.

We apply the Bootleggers and Baptists model to a case study of county-wide recycling (garbage socialism in Cache Valley) and a case study of a city seeking and getting a Major League Soccer team (soccer socialism in Sandy with Real Salt Lake). Each is a story of rent seeking, but the B&B model adds additional insights into local political dynamics. Also, we might be adding Provo’s internet socialism.

The B&B relationship helps to explain how self proclaimed conservative politicians can support these regulatory policies.

What are some other B&B relationships?

Craft and Tell

2007-12-12T23:43:00.001-05:00

Derek left me behind while he went to D.C. to impress the folks at the Koch Foundation - so I made a wreath.

I think all the pom poms are meant to look like snowballs. I'm not so sure they do, but I like the little guys anyway. They are so soft and so fuzzy.

This little guy didn't make the cut. Poor lonely pom pom.

Derek, on the other hand, did. Congratulations, Derek!

But Don't Take My Word For It

2007-12-05T01:18:00.001-05:00

Derek has recently completed an application that, among other things, required him to identify the five most influential (libertarian) books in his life. This got me thinking, what non-libertarian (because I don’t read that stuff) books have left an indelible mark on my life? What books shaped and molded the person I am today?

Books from the Elementary School Years
1. Anne of Green Gables (the whole series)
In fourth grade I wanted to be friends with this oh-so-popular girl and even got asked over to her house once. Then one day I heard her say she thought A of GG was boring, and after that I just didn’t have much use for her.

2. The Witch of Blackbird Pond
Where to even begin? A rich orphaned girl from Barbados, a dashing young sailor, Puritans, Quakers, near death illnesses, and a witch trial. . . What isn’t romantic about a witch trial? The thought of it still makes me swoon.

3. The Westing Game
Blew my mind away. Trick endings? This book defined the trick ending.

4. Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret
I hid this book by the side of my bed because I thought it had a swear word in the title and because it was all about puberty and something they called *menstruation*

5. Z for Zachariah
This was some sort of apocalyptic, nuclear aftermath book that I didn’t really understand, but it seriously freaked me out.

Runners up:
Ramona Quimby
Peppermints in the Parlor
The Chronicles of Narnia
This series about an itinerant family during the Great Depression
Anything about young girls dying of leukemia

If you were a library, what would be on your shelves?

I Just Can't Get Enough

2007-11-20T00:15:00.001-05:00

Really, this is my favorite topic. Ever. Stupid human names - I just can't get enough. One of my high school friends just had her 4th! baby, and in her email announcement she sent a link to the company that takes all of the baby pictures at the hospital so that we could see her (and everyone else's) new bundle of joy. It was a treasure chest of bad baby names just waiting to be found. Let me share with you a few of my favorites:

People/Place or Thing

(Girl ******** Boy)
Aspen ***** Branson
Bosten **** Cougar
Clover **** Forrest
Karisma *** Gatling
Liberty *** Kale
Michigan ** Kanvas
Mysteree ** Rivers
Oaklie **** Sabbath
Satynn **** Titus
Stetson *** Trail
Tawny ***** Trucker
Tyranny *** Tyten
Timber **** Leonidas

Plain Ol' Made Up

(Girl ******** Boy)
Alyzannah ** Brigzen
Andelyn **** Brynden
Caybrie **** Dak
Daelyn ***** Hibben
Haizlei **** Kaeghan
Jazylyn **** Kaicen
Kaiona ***** Kandon
Lovie ****** Kiesel
McKaty ***** Krue
Naidelyn**** Rexton
Zeylie ***** Teyga

Traditional-ish with a Twyst

(Girl ******** Boy)
Alexys ***** Benjamyn
Braydee **** Collyn
Jacklynn *** Landyn
Jayde ****** Mykol
Kamryn ***** Nathyn
Londyn ***** Phenyx
Sydni ****** Quynton

Does anyone else feel like today's parents are just trying too hard? One of these days these kids are going to grow up and realize their parents are nitwits.

(My apologizies to everyone I have offended with this post)

THE WINNER!

2007-11-14T11:02:00.001-05:00

TEAM JOHNSON BLOG VOCABULARY CHAMPION
JEFF JOHNSON
(AKA Smartypants MD)

Dr. Johnson obtained the superhuman vocabulary level of 46!

His charity of choice, the Utah Food bank, will be receiving five of my dollars, plus five of the good doctors.

Our vocabulary competition was able to raise a least 2,070 grains of rice(a Conservative estimate). The website has raised 1,712,371,750 grains of rice since its inception on Oct. 7, 2007.

I'm curious, how many grains of rice are in a serving?

Happy Birthday!

2007-11-13T13:25:00.001-05:00

Today is my big sister's birthday, and while my neice may claim her mother doesn't remeber what it was like to be twelve, well, I remember what it was like for her to be 12. And 13, and 14, and 15, and definitely 16, 17 and 18. So, Happy Birthday to the girl who taught us the true meaning of being a teenager.

The Lunch Lady, 6th grade

(Aren't those braids to die for?)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Word Quiz = Philanthropy

2007-11-07T18:51:00.001-05:00

I just found an interesting online vocabulary quiz at freerice.com. For every correct answer, it donates 10 grains of rice to some hungry people somewhere.

Word Quiz + altruism (not yours) + procrastination (yours) = a pretty good way to waste your time.

Let’s forget about the hungry people for a moment and have ourselves a healthy vocabulary competition. Take the quiz and post your high score, both vocab level and total grains, in the comments section. Your game is over when you miss your first word. Post your best score out of three.

The winner will get 5 of my dollars (I'm cheap) donated to the charity (501(c)3) of their choice (as long as it won’t hurt my political career) and be crowned the Team Johnson Blog Vocabulary Champion!

The game will end on Nov. 13.

*As for you random blog Voyeurs out there (don’t feel dirty, don't be ashamed), feel free to play.

Sentence of the Day

2007-11-07T11:05:00.001-05:00

A Russian citizen had this to say about Joesph Stalin on NPR's Morning Edition:

“He murdered half of Russia … but, still, he was a great man.”

Big News

2007-11-06T11:52:00.001-05:00

I made my bed two days in a row. IN A ROW.

I don't think I made my bed two times in the last year.

I'm a new woman.

NEWS

2007-11-01T09:57:00.001-04:00

I found out this morning at 6:30 that a paper I've been working on, Citizen-Driven Governance in Utah: Strengthening Hispanics' Voices, has been accepted to the 69th annual conference of The American Society for Public Administration in Dallas.

I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty cool.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T18:52:00.000-04:00

THRILLER

This was back when Michael Jackson was...wait that's not MJ!

Hooray for Snow!

2007-10-26T16:12:00.000-04:00

On the off chance that some of our readers (this is for you Paul) are really excited for winter, I thought I'd share a little backcountry powder mayhem! There’s nothing better than skiing in powder so deep that you can’t breathe. Intensity in ten cities!

Tele 'til you're smelly.

Play the Candidate Match Game

2007-10-12T11:54:00.001-04:00

USAToday has a great new game that’s a useful tool to help you figure out which presidential hopeful you line up with on a variety of political issues. It has way cool graphics and is pretty informative. It also has a great bar chart format that tells you what each candidate’s position is on each of the issues.

Some of the answer options are pretty limited or leading, but they make up for it by allowing you to weight each issue according to how important it is to you.

GO take the test, be objective, be honest, and don’t read any of the candidate positions before hand. Report back here if you’re not too embarrassed.

I had a strong mix of Democrats and Republicans, which is not to surprising considering I’m pretty much a libertarian (not the party the ideology – notice the lower case l).

I will report my results in the comments section. I hope you do as well.

p.s. Liz got all Democrats.

Mystery Solved

2007-10-11T00:25:00.000-04:00

So. You all want to know why I don't answer my phone, well, here it is: BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU ANSWER THE PHONE. The Smithfield phone rang tonight. We never answer the Smithfield phone. But for some reason, for the first time ever, Derek got up and answered the Smithfield phone. Guess who has to talk in church on Sunday.

Case closed.

The Economics of Love

2007-10-10T11:52:00.001-04:00

This is a fabulous exchange on the economics of love. I found it on Mungowitzend.

On Appreciating Assets, and Depreciating Ass(ets)

The premise:

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

The response:

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. (ATSRTWT)
***************
For many assets, it makes more sense to lease instead of purchase. For example, a beach house may cost millions. If you purchase you may have to deal with hurricanes, erosion, and increased development. If you rent the beach house you don't have to worry about those things and you still get to live like a king for 2 weeks out of the year. You can then put your money into an appreciating asset that will work for you.

The point is that you can separate the investment, and consumption, functions. As was stated in the original post, "In sexual relations, better to date the bimbo, and marry the smart person (I don't morally agree with that statement, but...)."

The gist of it: marry an appreciating asset, which is smarts (there are many virtues to marrying smarts, not the least of which is there is an advantage to having smart children). And if you can find someone smart AND pretty (and I have to say, Liz and I both got extremely lucky in this respect), so much the better. I love economics!

Happy Birthday Liz! From...

2007-10-05T17:28:00.001-04:00

Neil couldn't make to your birthday, but he wanted to sing you this song as you come-of-age!

The Things People Pay For

2007-09-27T14:40:00.001-04:00

"Singles Ward," "The Home Teachers," "The R.M."…Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, the guys at the bad idea factory came up with this. The only downside to a free market is stupid consumers that create a niche for this swill.

A Sad Story

2007-09-21T18:22:00.000-04:00

About a week ago one of the hens here on the farm emerged from a long absence with eight yellow cheeping and peeping chicks.
1+8=9
On Tuesday I came to work and saw Momma Hen (aka Ethyl) with only two chicks cheeping and peeping. The night before someone had unknowingly set the water on Momma Hen's nest and frozen six formerly cheeping and peeping chicks.
9-6=3
Today I came to work and saw one little chick cheeping but not peeping. And then I saw BLOOD and FEATHERS and more BLOOD and FEATHERS and then a DEAD Momma Hen and a space where the other chick would have been if it hadn't been EATEN.
3-2=1
One little orphan chick who likely won't last the weekend.

And so it goes.

Coincidence?

2007-09-14T10:44:00.001-04:00

I was just reading Nanette's post on "Elleisms" and felt it appropriate to point out the uncanny resemblance between the philosopher Elle and the philosopher Plato.

How to NOT to sell your stuff

2007-09-11T11:30:00.000-04:00

Scene: Liz at the Gardner's Market carrying a tote she made herself (you know, to carry the produce she buys at the market)

Lady selling totes: Hey! Another bag lady!
Liz: Um, yeah.
Lady selling totes: My bags look better than that!
Liz: [stares blankly at Lady Selling Totes and then to the ugly (though perhaps better constructed) old lady totes she is selling and then walks away offended.]

Wind River Range

2007-09-09T22:30:00.001-04:00

We went backpacking in the Wind River Range in WY. The Winds are one of the greatest and least known mountain ranges in the U.S.

We had a great time hanging out in the mountains with our friends Kyle, Angela, and Roxanne. Check out our pictures. We did some great day hikes and enjoyed what looked like some great fishing.

If I had $570 with no place to go...

2007-08-31T17:06:00.000-04:00

I just might buy this lamp.

Body Bugs and Cuddly Buddies

2007-08-24T15:09:00.000-04:00

It seems every few year National Geographic does an issue on “body bugs.” These are bugs and microbes that inhabit or feed off of the human body. They insist on taking magnified photos of these nasty devils and then publishing them for the world to see. I hate this issue. Why do they think that we want to see what those nasty looking microscopic bugs that live on us look like?

Mean Bed Bug & Cuddly Bed Bug

What may be even worse than seeing these little devils up close is cuddling with them! I recently came across a manufacturer, Giant Microbes, that makes stuffed Microbes and bugs. I guess they could be educational, but can you imagine your kid calling for his Trichophyton Mentagrophytes (athletes foot) instead of his stuffed bear?

Mean Athletes Foot & Cuddly Athletes Foot

Googlegängers

2007-08-13T00:28:00.001-04:00

Derek has been after me to post something new and since I finished my book for the day and it is too late to make anything else out of zucchini, I decided I would take to some to introduce y'all to my Googlegänger. A Googlegänger is, of course, "the other person who shows up in Google search results when people search for you". Or, for those of us a little more egomaniacal than the modest gentleman who wrote that definintion, a Googlegänger is the person who comes up on Google when you are wasting time at work searching for yourself on the web. Some of you may already be familiar with this term; it is, however, new to me (though the act it describes is not). Isn't it satisfying to discover words for things you previously had no words for? Why just the other day I learned that the proper term for all that gobbledygook scrapbookers hang all over their pages is "embellishment." But I digress. Discovering your Googlegänger is like discovering a whole 'nother fantasy life. Usually a much more successful life, too; I am guessing this is why they turn up on search engines and the regular me doesn't. My other me is an accomplished jazz vocalist and saxaphonist, and my maiden me is an artist/educator. Sigh. I always knew I was artsy.

Will the real Liz please reveal herself?

Where would you live?

2007-08-08T12:06:00.000-04:00

I recently read an article in National Geographic Adventure entitled “Where to Live and Play: 31 Adventure Towns.” This type of article appears at least once a year in most “outdoor” lifestyle magazines. It seems when selecting cities and towns for these features, publications don’t always take factors like employment and salary into consideration. To live in some of these places one would either have to be retired or a recreation-bum.

This article, however, led me to think about where I would like to live and work if employment/income/housing/school were not issues. This was really hard to do. The outlawed factors kept creeping into my decision process.

Here are my top 5 locations (not in specific order):

Utah, any place not between SLC and Logan: what can I say, this is where family is. Plus it's one of the best states to recreate in.

Jackson, WY: I hate to visit it, but I love living in it.

Virginia, commutable distance from D.C.: this is where the action is and not a bad place to have fun.

Las Vegas, NV: I know this seems odd, but there’s some great outdoor fun to be had in and around Vegas (read the article). Also, I can’t quite get the employment factor out of the way. I want to work for the Southern Nevada Water Authority.

Oregon/Montana: I can’t quite decide so I’ve given myself 6.

The weakest links in my list are Vegas and Virginia, there’s no skiing! Plus these are both based on employment. Without work considerations replace Vegas and Virginia with Oregon and Montana.

So where would you live and why?

To Hell and Back Again: The Johnson’s Tale

2007-08-06T11:32:00.000-04:00

*corny warning: the corny level of this post has been rated medium to high and may be considered to be in poor taste*

Go to Hell! Having been to Hell and back, but not in a handbasket, we feel confident in telling you it really isn't as bad as we have been led to believe. Our friend Tami was hell bent on getting us to make the detour through Hell, Michigan on our way home from stat camp, and it was indeed a Hell of a good time.

Hell is quite a bit smaller than you might think, not nearly as hot, and seems to only have a poplulation of about ten. I always pictured it a little more crowded than that. Its number one comodity does not seem to be temptation, greed or despair, but kitsch- or maybe ice cream, but probably not so much on those cold days in Hell. The only businesses in Hell are a general store and an ice cream shop called Screams of Ice Cream, which celebrates Halloween year round. Original, huh?

I have to say that our favorite part about Hell is the apparent joy Satan’s minions take in coming up with cheesy ways of integrating the word "hell" into their interactions with Hell's tourists (not unlike our feeble attempt here). Walk into the general store: "How the Hell are you?" Get you picture taken in front on the "Welcome to Hell" sign by Satan's grounds keeper: "Okay, say 'what the hell'!” It was fun. I just wish we could have gone in the winter time when Hell freezes over.

Jackalopes and Deerbunnies: Myth or Reality?

2007-07-31T17:08:00.001-04:00

Last night, while finishing the final installment of the Potter saga, Liz asked me - in what must have been a fit of temporary nerddom - “if you were a wizard what do you think your patronus would be?” After chucking, I realized I had no answer. I’ve seen bears and deer, dogs and cats, but none of these seemed quite appropriate. Today, however, the answer hit me, there is one animal, a great and mystical creature that has had a reoccurring role in my life: the Jackalope, also know in some circles as the Deerbunny. For those of you not familiar with Jackalope, visit this informative website: The Jackalope Conspiracy.

But seriously, Jackalopes are everywhere. I can’t seem to get away. Fortunately, I've been able to document many of my encounters with them over the years.

My most recent Jackalope encounter happened to be in my bathroom in Michigan. I don’t know how anyone could think it was a good idea to put a Jackalope in a bathroom, but there he was.

Prior to the “bathalope” I found two Jackalope in Wyoming, Liz and Kate (my sister-in-law) were brave enough to ride them!

Why Have I been so fortunate to see so many Jackalope in my life? That's a good question, but an even better one is, why do people think they're such a good idea? Who paints a Jackalope in their bathroom?

The Tour de Civil Suits

2007-07-27T11:25:00.001-04:00

In addition to making this year’s Tour de France a little more interesting, doping has raised some interesting legal issues. Team Predictor-Lotto is suing team Astana and Alexandre Vinokourov for cutting into their air-time and publicity. Team Sponsorship and advertising is big business in cycling. Should Vino be found guilty of doping, Predictor-Lotto is reportedly planning on suing the Kazakh and his team for 10 million Euros.

Vino won the stage 13 time trial, before testing positive for blood doping, taking away victory from Predictor-Lotto’s Cadel Evans. Discovering that Vino had engaged in blood doping Predictor-Lotto filed suit for cutting into their advertising time and publicity gained through a stage win.

I wonder if other teams will file suit over Vino’s solo break-away win on Stage 15. It certainly monopolized advertizing time and publicity.

You can read more on this at Bicycle.net

I'm Coming Home

2007-07-19T18:11:00.000-04:00

It’s time to bid adieu to the Big House, for my time in Michigan has come to close. So long stat buddies, so long nerds; I’m off to Deseret. If any of you are thinking about attending the University of Michigan, I highly recommend it. Ann Arbor is one of the finest towns I’ve had the privilege to frequent.

Liz is flying over the Midwest right now, my guess is somewhere over Chi-town (hi Bill and Kate’s walk-in closets). She has agreed to escort me across the county to ensure I make it home safe. See you all in Utah.

2007-07-11T22:16:00.001-04:00

I am sending into the universe a great big thumbs down to my camp leader who, with only 12 days left of camp, quit today with no notice because...wait for it... she's too hot. No, not good-looking hot, just the temperature kind. But don't worry, she brought me a doctor's note:
Dear employer:
Please excuse Puzanna* from work, she's too hot.

Well, Puzanna, here's to you.
*Names have been changed to protect identities

Read any good books lately?

2007-07-10T23:56:00.001-04:00

I’m looking for book recommendations. I’ve breezed through my summer reading list faster than I thought I would. Time spent a lone in Michigan will do that to you. What should I read next? I'm up for anything...almost.

Happy Jefferson and Adams Day of Death...and Independence Day

2007-07-04T21:10:00.002-04:00

Happy 4th! I hope this day of fireworks and BBQs finds everyone in high spirits and feeling proud to be an American.

I also hope that all of you have spent your day enjoying the many wonders that make-up Independence Day: BBQ Chicken, potato salad, Will Smith, softball, croquet, Robot Aliens, fireworks, pole vaulting, hang gliding, dynamite, Neil Diamond, Lee Greenwood, did I mention croquet, lawn chairs, and good times.

I've spent my 4th the most patriotic way of all, doing regression analysis. It’s been a day full of fireworks and hypothesis testing here in Michigan.

Enjoy the 4th and I hope we all can relate to the immortal words of the great Lee Greenwood, “I’m proud to be and American.”

Also, the first person that can point out what's amiss in the posted picture they will win a grand prize.

Literary Abominations

2007-06-30T23:48:00.001-04:00

Yesterday at Borders I learned of a whole new subset of literary garbage - Pride and Prejudice: the sequels. Yes, my female friends, there are actually authors (I suppose we can call them that) who would presume to take Austen's beloved tale and mess with Darcy and Elizabeth's fate. Really, who do these people think they are? My favorite defiler is a woman named Linda Berdoll. Apparently she didn't find enough heaving breasts in the original and has taken it upon herself to add some sexy to Pemberley. Out of macabre fascination, I picked up Darcy and Elizabeth: Nights and Days at Pemberley (I know, come on) and read the blurb on the back of the book, but out of respect for you and Ms. Austen I will not repeat the slander; I think the book covers say it all.

MATH CAMP

2007-06-25T15:40:00.002-04:00

I made it to math camp. It was a long haul full of nothing but large trucks (which tried to kill me twice!) and Local NPR stations from Utah to Michigan. I think my favorite NPR provider was Chicago Public Radio.

So far Math Camp has been interesting and a bit intimidating. Graduate students from all over the country are here. A lot of them are from Harvard, Yale, Berkley and the like. That either means that they are smarter than I am, or they were more motivated in high school and take standardized tests better than I do. You decide.

I was amazed to find that some of my classmates look just like this guy. They could have stared in Revenge of the Nerds. I guess there is some truth behind every stereotype.

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

He made it

2007-06-24T16:03:00.001-04:00

Derek made it to Math, ahem, Stats Camp last night and is nicely settled in some random hotel until he finds a place to live. For those of you who still aren't sure what he is doing (it is true, I don't know that anyone is actually reading this, but it is easier for me to pretend "you" are) he is taking a couple of courses through a program called ICPSR, which stands for Inter-university Consortium for Political and Social Research. Yeah, whatever. Derek assures me he is not the only *diligent* student who has chosen to spend his summer this way. I'm still skeptical. He begins class on Monday and will be in Ann Arbor until the 20th of July. This leaves me all alone for a month but with plenty of time to dedicate to this blog and my summer program, OSFSU (Online Scrapbooking for the Scrapbook Un-inclined), I like to call it Scrap Camp. I, however, already have a place to live.

Check it off the list

2007-06-21T02:49:00.000-04:00

Today we went to the Spiral Jetty. Kinda cool but kinda gross.

What's next ?